I Needed A Friend
by ImaginaryGirlxx
Summary: Lena Luthor has always been headstrong, but she has also always been broken. Then Kara Danvers and Supergirl both entered her life and she slowly began to feel whole again. She discovers Kara's secret and loses the two most important people in her life. Can she forgive her friend?


It wasn't the lie so much that hurt Lena. Sure, she would have loved Kara to trust her enough to tell her she was Supergirl, but she understood her reasons for keeping quiet. She was a Luthor. Kara was a Super. There was no way she would trust her easily.

'But I'm not Lex.' Lena thought to herself.

So maybe Kara lying to her did hurt.

But there was something else.

Lena had never been one to let people get close. She only let a few people into her heart and every one of them had left her. Her mother died when she was so young. Then Lionel passed away. And Lex… well the whole world knew what happened there. The less said, the better. Then there was Jack, of course. Poor, innocent Jack. He had impossibly huge dreams to help the world and an impossibly high IQ to match. He could probably have made it happen if his life hadn't been snatched away so cruelly.

Only recently had she let two people in: Kara Danvers and Supergirl.

To find out they were the same person… to Lena that was finding out that she only had one friend. One person in her life she could trust.

And she could trust her. Despite everything, she hadn't lost that trust in her friend. If Lena had really taken the time to think about this, she would have realised how much of an achievement it was for her. But right now her focus was on where she'd hidden that bottle of wine in her office. She hoped it would numb her pain somewhat after losing her friend.

Lena approached the filing cabinet against the wall. She'd checked everywhere else she would have hidden something. And she was right; her favourite red wine was laying down at the back of the bottom draw, underneath a stack of paperwork that hid it from anyone who came into her office.

Opening the bottle, she poured herself one rather large glass, a smile forming on her face as she brought the deep red liquid to her mouth and tasted the sweet notes of fruit in her drink. She knew it wasn't the best solution to turn to whenever she had a bad day, but if nothing else she felt today would justify it.

 _Lena was sat at her desk, staring aimlessly at the spreadsheet in front of her. The numbers had long since lost any meaning. Her mind wandered to the events of the day before. She had helped Supergirl to end the Daxamite invasion and, in the process, destroyed any chance of Kara Danvers being with the man she loved. It was a bittersweet day and Lena felt torn between happiness for one friend and heartbreak for another._

 _Not that she had time to dwell on such feelings. The rest of National City may have the luxury of taking a day off, or maybe only half a day, to recover from what had happened. Not Lena Luthor. She put her heart and soul into making L Corp a force for good and that started with helping to repair the damage to her city. Or, more accurately, scanning the budgets for where cuts could be made to aid National City's recovery. Not the most glamorous or even exciting of rescue efforts but Lena believed it was the least she could do, under the circumstances…_

 _Thankfully, some would say, she was torn out from her thoughts before they reached the path of self-blame they were headed towards by a knock at the door._

" _Who is it?" Lena asked._

" _Kara." A tentative voice replied. Lena immediately closed her laptop and rushed to the door to greet her friend. She could tell Kara had been crying and she pulled the girl into a hug, whispering reassurance to her as she led her to the couch._

 _Lena didn't know what to say. She couldn't ask how Kara was – the answer to that was clear as day. She wanted to help but she knew there was no way she could make things better for her friend. In the end she settled for something she knew would put a small smile on Kara's face._

" _Shall I order some potstickers? We can put something on Netflix."_

 _Kara nodded, lifting her glasses slightly to wipe the tears from her eyes. She was grateful that Lena didn't push her to talk. What could she say that she hadn't already gone over with Cat and Alex and Winn? Right now all she wanted was a bit of normality and Lena was giving her that._

 _The pair sat through a few episodes of some sitcom that both of them had seen a dozen times over, simply enjoying each other's company. However, there was an elephant in the room and they both knew it needed addressing sooner rather than later. Never one to shy away, Lena was the first to bring it up._

" _I'm sorry." She said after the screen turned black with a message asking if they were still watching._

" _It's not your fault, Lena. Rhea's actions were her own and she tricked you."_

" _But if it wasn't for me she would have never…"_

 _Kara interrupted. "If it wasn't for you National City would be overrun by Daxamites."_

" _You'd still have Mon El."_

" _That wasn't your fault either. You did what you had to do to save the planet. You created something good and you gave Supergirl a chance to try and save everyone. You trusted her with the remote and with the decision to use the device."_

" _I would trust Supergirl with anything." Lena commented. This brought a small smile to Kara's face._

" _She feels the same about you. She told me how much you've done to help her over the last few months." Kara replied._

" _I owed her for all the times she's saved me."_

" _She doesn't see it like that." Kara tried to assure her._

" _But I do." Lena said. She never felt the need to lie about how she was feeling with Kara. It was a freedom she hadn't experienced in a long time, ever since Lillian taught her that showing someone your emotions was showing them your weakness. But with Kara… she was so open and honest all the time. Lena felt she could finally be the same. She sighed. "With all the good we've both been trying to do, why couldn't we help you and Mon El?"_

 _Kara could tell Lena was doubting herself and she couldn't stand it. Her friend had done so much good for the world. Why couldn't she see it?_

" _Lena, listen to me." Kara said firmly. "What happened to Mon El was not your fault. I made the decision to use the device, not you."_

 _Silence._

Lena swirled the last drop of wine in her glass a few times before tipping her head back and finishing it. She reached for the bottle and poured herself another glass.

How could she have been so stupid?

How did she not see when it was right in front of her?

Of course, Lena Luthor could not be so fortunate to have TWO people care for her. Now the only person she had in her life was the last person she wanted to be around, but also the person she most wanted to talk to after everything that had happened.

Struggling to reconcile her emotions, Lena took another sip of wine. She could almost feel her judgement being clouded with every mouthful.

" _You made the decision?" Lena asked._

" _I mean… I told Supergirl she could… you know…" Kara stuttered._

" _Kara?" Lena questioned. It was obvious that her friend was hiding something. And Lena wasn't stupid – she could make a pretty good guess as to what it was._

 _To her credit, Kara admitted defeat. It was a slip of the tongue, sure, but hadn't she been wanting to tell Lena for a while? At least on some level? She wasn't going to insult her friend's intelligence any further by trying to deny the truth that was dancing around in front of them._

" _I'm sorry, Lena." She said, unable to look her friend in the eyes. "I should have told you sooner."_

" _But because I'm a Luthor you decided it was best not to let me in on your little secret?" Lena spat, standing up over Kara as a display of her power in the situation. This was her office. This was not her fault. This was a betrayal she couldn't forgive._

" _Please give me a chance to explain." Kara pleaded. "I wanted to tell you, I really did. But I couldn't because…"_

" _Save it!" Lena cut her off._

 _Kara was hurt._

 _Her best friend had never spoken to her like that before._

 _After everything they had been through…_

" _If you really wanted to tell me, you would have. It's not like you haven't had the opportunity."_

 _Kara opened her mouth to speak, but Lena wouldn't allow it._

" _You can leave the same way you came in. Or you can fly out. I don't care. Just don't come back here, Kara… Supergirl… whatever I call you now. You're not welcome!"_

 _And with that, Lena had said her piece. She was done. Nothing more to say._

Lena remembered the look on Kara's face and hated herself for having caused it. She hated herself more than she hated Kara. Who was she kidding? She could never hate Kara. She was so sweet, so kind, so thoughtful. She wouldn't hurt a fly, let alone her friend, if there were any other choice.

 _The Kryptonian didn't say a word as she left Lena's office. She chose to take the door, despite flying from the balcony being the quicker option. Lena didn't accept her as Supergirl. She didn't need to make things harder on either of them by rubbing the truth about her other identity in Lena's face._

 _Lena slumped back on the couch after Kara had gone. What had she done? And Kara, how could she…? How did it come to this?_

Maybe it was the wine talking. Maybe it was the guilt. Maybe it was the realisation that she'd have probably done the same in Kara's position. Lena didn't know. All she knew is that something made her reach for her phone and dial Kara's number.

Ring ring… ring ring…

The line went dead.

Kara had rejected her call.

Kara had rejected her friendship.

Kara had rejected Lena.

That's fine.

She was better off without her.

Or, at least, that's what she told herself.

So Lena did what a Luthor should. She finished her wine and decided to give Kara a piece of her mind. She was stronger than this and Kara would not get to win this argument.

And with that, she left her office, hailed a cab and took off to Kara's apartment. She was going to know how much she had cost Lena.

Before she knew it, she was outside Kara's door. Where had the journey gone? She wasn't prepared for this. She had no argument, no solid points, no foundation with which to rip the girl to shreds.

But was that really what she wanted?

Lena let out a quiet sob, as she stood outside her friend's apartment, unable to find the courage to knock on the door.

From inside, Kara had heard someone approach her apartment door. It didn't take super-hearing to hear the person's heels clacking on the wooden floor. It did, however, require the use of her x-ray vision to see who was outside her apartment when, after 5 minutes, no one knocked on the door.

Lena?

What was she doing here?

She looked so… broken? Kara thought, for want of a better word to describe her friend.

She was slumped against the wall, shoulders hunched and knees bent – a far cry from her usual tall and confident posture, commanding of the world and anyone else in her path.

Kara knew she should give Lena some time. She obviously wasn't ready to confront her yet. But patience wasn't among Kara's many virtues. Since arriving on this Earth she could do many things faster than a speeding bullet, one might say. That didn't leave much room for her to develop such a skill as waiting. She paced the length of her apartment a few times. More accurately, a few hundred times. She couldn't force Lena to be ready to talk to her.

After half an hour, Kara braved another look through the door. She knew Lena was still there, she could hear her crying, but by now the woman had sunk down to the floor. Her back was to the door and her knees pulled up to her chest. Head in her lap, she tried to hide from the world.

Lena considered how she arrived at her current position. She felt like a child, like someone who relied so heavily upon a parental figure that losing them made it impossible for her to cope. But she wasn't that person any more. Lena Luthor was strong, rich, powerful and formidable. Heaven forbid anyone would cross her. Not that people would, mind you. If they knew what was good for them. Lena Luthor had influence that went above and beyond that which was inherited by her surname. Those who she helped worshiped her. Those who disagreed with her humanitarian efforts feared her. Even those on a par with her held a great deal of respect for her.

And then there was Kara. Kara loved her.

She had once told Kara that she had never experienced friendship, or family, like her. It was true. To know that unconditional love from someone was a completely new experience for Lena. It made her somewhat uncomfortable. It also made her somewhat uncontrollably happy. Right now, she felt both to the extremes but also nothing at all.

On the other side of the door, Kara realised she'd had enough of waiting. She couldn't stand to hear her best friend crying and see her looking so… un-Lena. Sure, she had seen her vulnerable side more than once. Lena had been through a lot since they met. As had Kara. It was part of what had made them so close. But this was different. This was pure, unadulterated anguish. Kara's heart physically hurt to know that she had been the cause of such pain.

Kara crouched down to Lena's level on the opposite side of the door.

"Lena?" She asked quietly and she saw Lena wipe her tears. "Would you like to come in?"

Lena stood up and Kara opened the door to her friend. Their faces, both tear-stained, turned to look at each other.

"I do understand why you didn't tell me." Lena started. No longer fuelled by anger, she was able to voice how she had felt about the matter all along.

"I'm sorry." Kara said. She didn't know how many times she'd said or thought it that evening but somehow this situation always required more apologies.

"I'm not upset that you kept your identity a secret." Kara was confused now, but she let Lena continue. "I mean, I am. But that's not what hurts."

"Lena, I never meant to cause you any pain. If you can tell me what it is I've done to hurt you so badly I'll do whatever I can to make it up to you."

"I lost a friend tonight." Lena replied simply as she walked with Kara to the couch. "You know better than anyone how few people I've had to rely on in my life. You know how Lillian has acted in the past and the damage Lex has done. I have a hard time opening up to people. But there were two people I knew I could always rely on: you and Supergirl. To find out you're the same person, it's like losing one of the only two people who cared about me."

"But Lena, I'm still here. Kara Danvers and Supergirl both care because they are both me."

"And you've been an amazing friend to me, Kara, you really have."

"But it doesn't feel like enough?" Kara asked. Lena nodded.

The pair sat silently for a moment, each trying to find the words to makes things better.

After a while, Kara spoke up. "Do you know how I came to this planet?"

"Everyone knows the story. You came when Kryton exploded."

"I came with a mission to protect my cousin: Superman. But when my pod got knocked off course I lost that opportunity to help him. I came to this planet completely alone and afraid. I had no one from home. Not really. Kal had grown up here and knew very little of our planet, our customs and our culture. Sure, I've been able to teach him since I arrived but he never had the chance to experience it. And it made me feel so alone."

"Kara, I had no idea…"

"What I'm trying to say is I do understand how it feels to be alone. But the Danvers' accepted me as one of their own and I've made so many friends since, including you. Everyone I meet and everyone I help makes the loneliness a little less painful."

"You have all these people in your life now, though. I only have you, and even now it's going to take us a while to get back to where we were."

"So let's take is slowly, with a promise to be there for each other on the other side." Kara suggested, the optimism that Lena loved about her shining through. "Hi, I'm Kara Zor-El. It's lovely to meet you." She said, extending her hand in friendship.

Lena accepted.

Maybe everything would be alright.


End file.
